Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize