i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
