so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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