Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
