I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
