So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
