so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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