She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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