I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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