If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
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