But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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