can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
