I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
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