I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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