We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
COCAINE IS GR8
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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