there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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