AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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