hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
