The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
