Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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