i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
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