Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
