i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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