I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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