i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
