I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
And the cops told us we were all naked.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Randomize
