New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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