He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
The air was thick with penises
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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