Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Screwed.edu
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
