Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
