Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
