I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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