oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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