Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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