Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
