i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
