She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
