He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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