So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Dicks are not precious.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
