you guys were way drunker than both of me
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
