So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
