Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
