tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
