garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
he just fucked me for my cheese.
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