My room smells like vodka and shame
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
