That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize