dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done