These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.