brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
