It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
