very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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