walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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