I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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