I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
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It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize